Cabbages and Oreos
by Gothic-Rez
Summary: Gon askes Kurapika where babies come from. [Rated M for hints of sex] Pairings: Yoai LeoPika [Oneshot]


Word Count: 1852

Rating/Warnings: Rated M for hints of sex and other suggestive content. Contains yaoi.

A/N: Forgive me for the silliness, I wrote this at 2:00AM!

Disclaimer: I don't own Hunter X Hunter.

Kurapika shifted his gaze from the ceiling to the floor. He stared intently at a popcorn kernel, as if he expected it to spring to life any minute and try to take over the world. It wasn't exactly more fun to look at, but hey, what else can you do when you can't get to sleep? Well he may have had an easier time sleeping if _someone_ would stop snoring like a hungry lion. The blonde sighed and rolled over onto his back; only to be squished by the heavy sleeper, who was leaning on his firmly.

"Leorio! You're suffocating me!" Kurapika hissed. The older man just mumbled some incoherent words; then rolled over Kurapika completely, falling over the edge of the bed. "Ngfheh!" The brunette shouted, blinking awake. He sat up and looked around dumbly. "What happened? How did I end up on the floor?" Kurapika rolled onto his stomach again and ran his thin fingers through his blonde tresses. "Why don't you tell me?" Kurapika answered monotonously.

The two had been living with each other for almost a month, neither of them were quite used to it yet. It wasn't so difficult, though. Leorio was always busy with his studies and Kurapika did most of his work at home in his 'office.' Well it wasn't really an office it was more like a desk and chair thrown into a corner along with a cheap computer that was about as slow as Leorio's brain. But it was a swiveling chair, so Kurapika was content with his makeshift office. He would spin in his swivel-chair for hours on end.

The real reason they moved in together was oblivious to both. They couldn't stand each other, they always fought and they were complete opposites. Maybe it had something to do with that night…  
(Begin Flashback)

_Leorio paced in front of the door anxiously. What happened? Why was Kurapika late? He automatically presumed the worst because… well that's just what happens when drink 15 cups of coffee before 5PM. Just when Leorio was about to explode, the young Kurata entered the room. _

"Leorio, what are you doing at my office?" The blonde asked, his voice sounding exhausted from the days work. Leorio put on a nervous smile. "Me? I was unn… Well I was kinda wondering if you wanted to… you know… like maybe… um…. Go get something to eat and… well you know…. Maybe see a movie or something?" Leorio took a deep breath and held it.

Kurapika looked at the older man questioningly. "Are you asking me out on a date?" He asked, quirking a brow. Leorio panicked. What if Kurapika hated him now? That would suck… "Well not if you don't want it to be! We could just go as friends," Leorio managed to get out, a blush now settled on his face. Kurapika looked as though he was considering this for a moment. "I guess I'm free tonight. You can pick me up at seven," The blonde said perkily. Since when has Kurapika been perky. Wow that's a scary thought. "Okay, sounds good." Leorio felt somewhat relieved. Oh no, why did he feel wet?

"Are you taking me to your apartment afterwards?" Kurapika asked as he made his way to the elevator. Leorio followed the blonde, nearly tripping over himself. "Well I mean we don't have--" "I would like very much to see it," The Kurata broke in. A smile brightened on the brunettes face. "It's a deal then! See you at seven!" Kurapika smiled back and stepped into the elevator. "Maybe I can even spend the night," The blonde said suggestively as the elevator doors closed between the two.  
(End Flashback)

Kurapika shrugged off the memories and extended a hand to the man on the floor. Leorio grabbed it gratefully and pulled himself up. He the proceeded to flop back into bed with a bounce. The older man turned to his companion, who looked at him wearily. "What?" Kurapika says, almost in a whisper. "You're just so cute," Leorio chimes.

Before the blonde could protest the other leans for a long, passionate kiss. Leorio wrapped his arm around the young hunter's delicate neck and forced his tongue into the blonde's mouth. Unfortunately Kurapika is already sleep-deprived and doesn't put much into the kiss. He shivers as Leorio caresses his neck and massages the inside of blondes mouth gently but firmly(If that's possible? 0.o) with his tongue.

The younger one broke the kiss. He let his head fall onto his pillow and cuddled up to his partners bare chest. Leorio ran his fingers through the other soft blonde tresses. Kurapika sighed and somehow managed to cuddle even closer to the man than before. "You should fall off the bed more often," He said sarcastically before floating into a dreamland of fluffy bunnies and happy, homicidal clowns.

The next day was Saturday, and both of the hunters rejoiced. No work. No school. Just Kurapika, Leorio and the bed. Well, for some odd reason(not) they didn't get out of bed until ell after noon. They probably would have stayed in bed even longer had it not been for an unusual telephone call.

The phone rang obnoxiously, screaming in its own language for someone to pick it up. Kurapika shot a death glare at the phone when it didn't shut up after six rings. "We need to buy an answering machine," The blonde said dryly, as he pried Leorio off. Kurapika rolled across the bed and picked up the receiver, feeling rather awkward about answering the phone naked. Not that the person on the other end could see him, but Kurapika was just so modest.

"Moshi moshi?" "Kurapika? That's funny I thought this was Leorio's phone!" Came a familiarly childish voice. Leorio looked at the blonde questioningly, wondering why he hasn't hung up the phone yet. "Oh, hey Gon. Uh, well I'm just visiting," Kurapika manages to blurt out. He makes a strange choking sound as Leorio wraps his masculine arms around the others small waist. "Tell him to call back; we're busy," Leorio says huskily, pulling the younger man into his lap.

Kurapika smacked Leorio in the chest gave him a 'what the hell?' look. "Hello? Are you still there?" Gon's voice blasts through the receiver loud enough to make even the most sharp-eared person go completely deaf. "Y-yes?" The blonde is now trying to resist the urge to kick Leorio in the face. Leorio pulled Kurapika closer so that their bodies were flush, the younger one's back against his lovers chest.

"Unn, Gon, can I call you back?" Kurapika stammers, stifling a moan. Leorio caresses his lovers thigh and nibbles at the boys throat hungrily.. "Nope," Gon says too cheerfully for his own good. "I wanted to call to tell you that Killua and I are coming over for a visit today!" Kurapika and Leorio froze like some random old lady had just striped down right in front of them. Okay maybe that's the wrong analogy. Anyways they obviously shocked. "Hello? Kurapika?"

Later after Kurapika and Leorio hurriedly dressed themselves, they attempted to clean the extremely un-tidy house. Throwing random articles of clothing into a nearby closet and throwing away as many empty soda cans and oreo packages as possible. Neither of them knew how they were going to explain living together to the younger hunters.

After about ten minutes of cleaning, the doorbell rang. "Oh no, it's too soon!" Kurapika freaks out unnecessarily. Leorio hears the blondes cry and emerged from the bedroom. Before another word could be said the door burst open; Gon and Killua barged in loudly. "We need to get a lock for that door," Kurapika whispered to the other.

Gon and Killua take a moment to observe the messy living quarters before tackling their older friends. Actually Gon did most of the tackling. "We missed you guys so much!" Gon almost screamed in Kurapika's ear. Trying not to show a flinch, Kurapika patted Gon' head affectionately. "We missed you two as well." Killua clasped his hands behind his head and sighed, "We're only in town for about two hours. I hope you guys have food for us. I'm starving."

Gon tossed the last piece of popcorn into his mouth and stood from the couch were all four hunters had managed to pile onto. "Did you get enough to eat?" Kurapika inquired as Gon knelt beside him. "Uh, yeah. Hey, Kurapika. I need to talk to you for a minute 'kay?" Gon whispered, pointing to the bedroom.

"What is it you needed to talk about, Gon?" They were in Leorio's bedroom. I mean waste dump. Nah, I'll just go with bedroom for now. Gon shifted from one foot to the other anxiously. "So I was wondering, since you're so smart and all, if maybe you could clear something up for me?" Kurapika nodded for Gon to continue. "Yeah well, where do babies come from?"

Kurapika lost his balance and would have fallen over if the bed had not been so conveniently close. His faced showed an perplexed expression. "Why would you ask something like that?" Gon blushes a little and sits down next to Kurapika. "Mito-san told me the other day that she was going to have a baby. I just want to know where they come from, ya know?"

The child twiddled his thumbs nervously. He didn't want Kurapika to be mad at him. The blonde relaxed a bit and bit his lower lip in thought. What to tell him? He didn't want to damage Gon's young, pure mind. "Well," The Kurata began uneasily. "When two people love one another very much…" He trailed off seeing the curious and clueless expression on the young boy's face. A sudden change of heart lead Kurapika down the winding road of white lies. "They go to a special garden and pick out a cabbage that they really like. They pick it together and it turns into a baby," The blonde lied through his teeth.

Gon dwelled on this thought for a moment then seemed satisfied. "I see!" He was quiet for minute, then a sudden wave of terror washed over the child's face. "So that means last weekend when I ate cabbage soup, I was really eating an unborn baby? Oh my God, I'm a cannibal!" Gon shouted loud enough to cause an earthquake. Kurapika raised his hands in protest. "No, no, That's not the way it goes!" He soothed.

After much careful explaining Gon and Kurapika emerged from the bedroom. "What took you so long? Gon, we have to go in about two minutes," Killua said boredly. "Sorry!" Gon apologized as he raced to Killua's side. "Bye bye!" Leorio and Kurapika showed their guests out and sighed in relief.

"What was it Gon wanted to talk to you about?" Leorio pried. They were in the bedroom again.(surprise.) Kurapika unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it aside. "Gon wanted to know where babies come from," He said flatly. Leorio looked somewhat surprised. "That's odd I was just thinking bout something along that line too," The brunette replied, flopping onto the bed.

END.


End file.
